From the moment we’re old enough to consume entertainment—whether it’s through television, music, movies, or social media—media begins to shape our ideas of the world. One of the most influential and often misunderstood areas the media affects is our understanding of sex and sexuality.
While media can be a valuable tool for education and awareness, it can also spread misconceptions, reinforce harmful stereotypes, and create unrealistic expectations. Understanding how media influences our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors around sex is essential for developing healthier, more informed perspectives.
The Media as a Teacher—Even When It Doesn’t Mean To Be
Most people don’t think of movies or music videos as “teachers,” but they absolutely can be. When formal sex education is missing, inconsistent, or limited—as it often is—many young people (and even adults) turn to media, intentionally or not, to fill in the gaps.
TV shows, pop songs, online content, and films often depict relationships, attraction, dating, and physical intimacy. Whether accurate or not, these portrayals send messages about what sex is, what’s “normal,” and how people are supposed to behave.
But here’s the catch:
Most of this media is created for entertainment, not education. That means it may not present a full, accurate, or respectful picture of human sexuality.
Common Ways Media Shapes Our Ideas About Sex
1. Unrealistic Expectations
In films and TV shows, relationships often move quickly from a glance to a romantic or sexual encounter. These fast-paced storylines can make it seem like physical closeness happens easily and instantly in real life too.
Reality, however, is more nuanced. Real relationships take time, communication, and mutual consent. When people internalize media portrayals, they may feel pressure to act or perform in ways that don’t feel natural or healthy.
2. Overemphasis on Appearance
From music videos to advertisements, the media often promotes a narrow definition of attractiveness. These images suggest that physical appearance is the most important factor in desire or love. This can lead to:
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Body image issues
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Lower self-esteem
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Misunderstanding of what genuine connection looks like
In truth, attraction and intimacy are based on many things beyond physical looks—such as personality, values, shared experiences, and emotional trust.
3. Stereotyping Gender Roles
Media often reinforces outdated ideas of how people of different genders should behave. For example:
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Men are often shown as always wanting sex or being emotionally distant.
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Women may be portrayed as passive, waiting to be desired or pursued.
These stereotypes can be harmful. They ignore the diversity of human experiences and limit individuals from expressing themselves freely and authentically.
4. Misrepresenting Consent
One of the most concerning issues in media depictions of sex is the frequent absence of clear, enthusiastic consent. Some scenes may suggest that reluctance or silence is a form of agreement, or that persistence will “win someone over.” This creates confusion around the importance of mutual, respectful, and ongoing consent in real-life relationships.
Positive Media Influence: It’s Not All Bad News
Despite the challenges, media also has the potential to be a force for good when it comes to shaping our understanding of sex and relationships.
1. Sex-Positive Content
Some shows, podcasts, and online creators now promote sex-positive messages—meaning they present sex as something natural, healthy, and based on communication and mutual respect. These platforms often include:
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Inclusive perspectives (LGBTQ+ relationships, asexuality, etc.)
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Emphasis on consent
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Honest conversations about emotional wellbeing
2. Educational Resources
With the rise of social media platforms like YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, certified educators, therapists, and advocates are now able to share accessible and accurate sex education. While not all online content is reliable, many creators are working hard to provide respectful, informative, and diverse content.
3. Representation Matters
Today’s media is slowly becoming more inclusive. Diverse relationships, different body types, and broader sexual orientations are gaining visibility, allowing more people to feel seen and validated.
How to Be a More Critical Media Consumer
Being aware of media’s influence helps us take control of the messages we internalize. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
1. Ask Questions
When you watch a show or scroll through social media, ask:
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Is this realistic?
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Who created this content, and why?
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What messages are being sent—directly or indirectly?
2. Seek Out Diverse Voices
Follow educators, advocates, and creators who represent different backgrounds, identities, and perspectives. This helps broaden your understanding of sex and relationships beyond mainstream stereotypes.
3. Remember Entertainment Isn’t Education
Movies and songs can be fun and emotionally powerful—but they shouldn’t be your only source of information. Use trusted, evidence-based resources (like educational websites, books, or counselors) for learning about sexuality.
4. Talk About It
Whether with friends, a partner, or a teacher, open conversations about what you see in the media can help clarify what’s real and what’s dramatized. It’s okay to enjoy entertainment while still recognizing its limitations.
Final Thoughts
The media we consume plays a powerful role in shaping how we view sex, relationships, and ourselves. While not inherently harmful, media often presents a simplified or distorted view of human intimacy.
